09/10/2020 05:45 PM
As music teachers, we hear from parents all the time that students love taking music lessons but don’t like to practice. Or more frequently, we see (hear) the results of students who don’t like to practice.
Common queries from parents include:
“Should I force my child to practice?”
“I want my child to practice but I don’t want to make them hate it, like I hated it as a kid.”
“My child loves playing her instrument, but never practices the music she’s assigned.”
“The bribes just aren’t working any more.”
First off, never force your child to practice. Study after study shows that positive reinforcement promotes growth and learning much better than negative reinforcement. With that said, don’t bribe your kid either. Over time, bribes not only have to grow in size or quality to be enticing to your child, they also make it difficult for your student’s teacher to motivate them during lessons.
POSITIVE FEEDBACK
Positive feedback can come in the form of praise, affection, or self-pride. Saying to your child, “Wow! It sounds like you’ve improved so much! You should be proud of yourself.” can motivate certain children as much as, or more than ‘a scoop of ice cream for X number minutes of practice.’
PRAISE EFFORT, NOT ABILITY
Remember when complimenting your student to praise their efforts, not their talent. A beginning violin student of any age makes horrid, screeching sounds. Even the very youngest know that their music doesn’t sound beautiful at first.
Compliment your student on how hard they are working. “I could tell that you fixed that spot. You’re doing a great job practicing.” By complimenting a child’s practice, rather than the result, you can help your kid learn to value the process of practicing, not just the performance.
SET A SCHEDULE
Kids are highly affected by schedule changes. Maybe that’s why kids wake up at the crack of dawn even on the weekend. Talk to your kid about when they can and want to practice.
For some students, a snack and a short music practice after school every day is the way to go. Some students may choose to practice before school. Other students may decide to practice every other day, or have short practices during the week and long practices on the weekend.
The important thing is to help your student feel like they are setting the schedule. There’s a big difference in being forced to do something, and agreeing to do something. Giving your child agency over their practice schedule can help them to feel like practicing is something they decided to do, not that they are being made to do. But, it’s always okay to encourage them to keep on schedule.
GET INVOLVED
In the same way that students who read aloud with their parents show higher reading comprehension and cognition, students who make music with their parents become better musicians. Think of all the family dynasties in music: The Marsalis Family, The Sinatra Family, The Marley Clan, The Hank Williams’es.
Some of this family ability might be natural. But, it’s also true that the children learned from their parents that music was important. You don’t need to be a Grammy winner to get involved.
Sit with your child while they practice. Ask them to show you what they’re learning. Ask your child to teach you a piece of music. Or best of all, start lessons with them! The benefits of playing an instrument don’t stop after childhood. Playing music helps lower stress, increases problem solving, and helps decrease the likelihood of dementia. But... that’s a different article.
EMPHASIZE LONG-TERM BENEFITS
Help your child see the big picture. Kids are short-sighted and often don’t think about long-term outcomes. Show your child examples of what can happen if they practice and work hard.
Take your child to concerts. Show them videos and recordings of amazing musicians. Get them to talk to older kids who play instruments. Get excited about the parade bands during Mardi Gras.
Music role-models don’t have to be rock stars. Sometimes, looking up to a musical friend or family member is enough to encourage a child to want to improve.
KNOW WHEN TO TAKE A BREAK
Sometimes, kids just need a break. Practice can become painful. If tears during practice time become a regular occurrence, it might be time to consider other options.
Talk to your child about how they are feeling during practice time. It could be that your child is just tired at that time of day. It could be that they are frustrated because they aren’t seeing progress, or that they don’t like the music they’re working on, or that they don’t like that particular instrument any more.
Some children start violin only to realize that piano might be a better fit. Talk to your teacher about making changes to music selections or instruments. (All instructors at NOLA School of Music teach multiple instruments!)
If all options have been exhausted, it’s okay to step back for a while. Remember that kids’ interests are constantly changing as their brains develop. Sometimes, a few weeks off can make all the difference.
Whatever the time period of the break, it’s important to have a definite Date of Return. Talk with your child and decide on a specific date to resume lessons. Having a designated date of return greatly increases your student’s likelihood of returning to music, and continuing lessons.
For more practice tips, and to find out how long your student should be practicing, check out Wes's tips on how to get the most out of online lessons and Nick's tips on how long to practice.
If you still need help settling into a practice routine, sign up for lessons with one of our teachers!